I know, promising title. But if you are looking to win in life, there might just be a way to do that at everything. Some times even while losing.
What is something that everyone shares?
What we all share is the need to feel ok, even if that sounds like something simple and so within reach, it is hardly ever a priority. We prioritize our education, our work, our love life, our social life and honestly who can blame us for it?
To spread some light into the case that we will be working on. Winning in life is about the mindset that will allow you to win regardless of the situation. Let’s look at some things that you might be doing that are not best for you, but most importantly, let’s look at what you should be doing.
It’s just stress
I have come to realize that in whatever we do, there is this underlying sensation. We do not always feel it as clear as day, but that is probably because it has become so natural feeling this way.
Now I may not be talking for you when I say this, of which I would be very happy, but I am talking about feeling stressed.
Like I said, most people reach a state, where they would have to look at them selves consciously to see that they actually feel stressed. That’s because it is everywhere and it can be so different for each other.
Some times, we stress while doing something because we expect a certain result. Sometimes we have, or at least try, to have fun and relax and all we seem to think about is all the other things we should be doing right now. Have we done enough to even deserve to have fun? What about all the things I could be taking care of rights now, while I waste time “relaxing” or “having fun”.
I am not even going to touch on more serious matters such as work, education or human relationships.
You don’t have to win at everything to win in life
How many times have you heard the “you have no idea what I am going through” or the “this is nothing wait until you hear what I have been through” or “you think that’s hard? wait until you hear mine”?
Yeap, we are pretty proud of our hardships. We love being the ones who have had it the worst, the busiest, the saddest?
The point I am trying to make here is not to resent how you feel or not be okay about how you feel, but avoid falling into the victim mentality. Everything that surrounds us is a matter of point of view and understanding. If you perceive yourself as the victim who simply cannot get a break, that becomes your reality. Your reality is simply the way that you perceive the world around you.
In order to win in life, take yourself out of the loser’s position. Everyone is going through things, having it the worst is not a competition you should want to be in the leading position. The real question is whether you think you deserve having it the worst, so you try to convince yourself that you do.
In the immortal words of Captain America:
If you have not figured out what I am about to talk about yet, it is about the way you talk and the things you say for yourself.
You talk and you listen. Regardless of who you are talking to, the first one that listens is you. The creepy fact? This also applies to your thoughts!
It is often that we talk about ourselves a few times in a day, most importantly we think about ourselves a lot more than that.
For better or worse, you have the same impact on yourself that a parent has on his or her child. You listen to everything even if you think you don’t and that will affect you one way or another. Just like a parent cannot change the fact that a child will grow, you cannot change the fact that you will grow. What you can change, is what you will grow into.
An example of that is the idea you have of yourself. All that is, is a carefully crafted point of view, that was made by you. You see the way you act, react and the things you achieve. The things that you do and what you are good at. And you put it on a canvas.
If you have negative feelings about yourself, it is because you do not like the image you have created. The thing is, that it is just an image, not a mirror. You chose the colours and you chose the scenery. It is not a realistic image of you and most definitely it is not objective or unbiased.
Why not pick brighter colours? Maybe you can start by watching that mouth when you talk about that cool dude that is yourself.
How to actually win in life
If there is one thing I would say is the way to win in life, would be to NOT BE AFRAID!
What is fear?
Fear is nothing more than what we do not understand and what we do not know!
The fear in us is nothing more than a thought. More specifically, fear is like a ball of yarn. The more you unravel it the less there is to fear.
Look into your fears and I mean really look into them. What is it that you are afraid of, a state, an outcome, a scenario? If what you are afraid of were to happen right now, what would that mean?
We are only afraid of the things we do not understand, so try to understand and unravel your fears. Most of the times what we are afraid of we don’t even know ourselves enough to be afraid of it. I encourage you to visualize your fears as clear as you can, worst-case scenario, go all out. Look at it and see if that’s really what you were scared of since the beginning.
I think just like a ball of yarn, when you have unravelled all of it there will simply be nothing left.
Instead of being afraid, I have a better alternative for you.
You should look at your life the way that you watch a movie. Instead of dreading what is to come, live every second of your plot and feel nothing but excitement for your future. Try the things you always wanted with an overwhelming amount of confidence in yourself, take risks and make it a movie you love to watch.
Crazy things start to happen when you replace fear with excitement, why not find out?
Responsibility = Power = Victory
A great read on that very subject would be “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck”.
The point of responsibility is to understand the behind every situation you are in, you are responsible.
I am not saying that bad luck and circumstances have a 0% impact on you, but the truth is that we put ourselves in the places that we are, not fate and not chance.
If you really want to win in life, you have to take the responsibility very seriously. In your mind, absolutely no one but you should be responsible for your ups and your downs. It is you who decides and it is you who acts, you are the judge and jury of your life.
There might be 1000 people to blame for your situation. The responsibility never leaves you, the only one responsible for your self is you.
Responsibility means choice, if you have the choice you have the power to change. If you crave for power, then you should crave for responsibility every chance you get!
Why so serious?
Are you taking things a little more serious than you should? Certainly, there are things that require your attention. I am sure that you are responsible for many important things. If other people depend on you, you have to take care of that.
IS EVERYTHING A LIFE OR DEATH MATTER?
I see young adults and teenagers go through that the most, but there is no age that this does not apply to.
This where stress derives from, that might also be the reason some of us cannot seem to relax and enjoy doing nothing for a little bit. Everything is just so important and everything depends on you? Get off your high horse!
Someone once said that rest is a privilege of the strong. Only they have the strength to allow themselves to think they deserve some.
The truth is that life is a game. The score will be decided based on how happy you were and how happy you were able to make the people around you. Instead of making everything else a priority, why not make a priority yourself and enjoy what you are doing?
If you want to win in life, you have to treat it like it’s a game. Take it easy and enjoy.
The win in life verdict
This post has been some of my thoughts on being a winner in life. In some cases things might not be simple, the answer might not be clear and you might be scared, angry or sad. That’s ok, after all, the point was never not to feel.
Life’s scenarios are not always black or white, it might seem like that if a problem appears. If you can take it easy, face it like a challenge instead of a problem and set yourself high on the priority list, you can only make the right decision.
Even if you don’t, you did right by you and there is nothing that can take that away from you.
You can start with small steps, maybe by taking control of your mornings to make each morning a weekends day!